Vogue Aluminium Foil
Dreams really can come true. By Quitegeist.
In many ways, I was raised by the cinema of the 80s. I was an especially big fan of the film Robocop. "One day," I would think, "I too will be a Robot police officer". As the years went by and I grew older, and the hopeful dreams of my childhood vanished into the distance, I resigned myself to the fact that being a robot was not a realistic life goal and devoted myself with single-minded determination to becoming a law enforcement officer. After years of hard work and sacrifice I was awarded my badge, and with my first police officer wage I decided to treat myself to a few DVDs from Amazon. It was then I saw the product that would change my life forever- Vogue Aluminium Foil.
Thanks to Vogue Aluminium Foil, which measures a hedonistic 75 metres and glistens with the hypnotising shimmer of a moonlit desert oasis caught by a breeze, the dreams of my childhood have now been realised. When I wrap my naked body in this lush, extravagant foil I feel transformed, and I wander the streets, mostly at night, fighting crime. While my official position as a member of the police has been revoked as a direct result of these actions, my current life as a robot vigilante is far more rewarding. Dreams really can come true.
Ran into a bit of trouble at work. By Timboliah PantsOnFiyah.
I bought this mug for use at work as I get rather tired of making several trips to the drinking fountain throughout the day. Surprisingly, by the time I made it back to my desk from the water spigot, this mug had turned my water into wine! Being a little skeptical, naturally I made several more trips over the course of the day to confirm the miracle... feeling more relaxed about the matter with each trip.
Blimey that was an impressive vintage!
Well, by mid afternoon I was full on sloshed... pissed... rat-arsed. Feeling a bit cheeky as I walked past my boss I gave her a nice swat on the bum. I'm very fortunate that I didn't get sacked on the spot... and I reckon I have my Jesus Mug to thank for that small miracle. I am now in a company mandated substance abuse program though. My boss, not a handsome woman when viewed without the beer goggles has... err... forgiven me. She's always coming round my desk now and hinting that she doesn't have plans for the evening.
All in all though, it's a lovely mug... and Jesus is number 1 for sure! Perhaps a better mug for use at home and a nice cup of tea.
Happy 15th Birthday Amazon UK.
Have a wonderful Wednesday.